Dog Owner Profile: More Money Than Sense

20 Aug


Not uncommon in the dog world, most of us are familiar with the More Money Than Sense (MMTS) owner. The MMTS is the love-child of the Know it All Novice  and the Baffled Amateur. While they may not have the answer, they know who does and his name, ladies and gents, is Benjamin.


Mr. Franklin did love him some bitches.

That’s right kids. While the rest of the unwashed masses are finding ways to cut corners or DIY-it, the MMTS is tossing out money like a broken slot machine.


Common Locations:

Erm. Where do rich people go? The country club? Ibiza? Basically anywhere other than working with their own dogs. Is In The Company of Dogs a location? How about Drs. Foster and Smith? The MMTS’s credit card certainly gets a workout on those sites. The MMTS never bothers to shop around, if it’s expensive, it must be good… right?

Do they make housecalls?


White linen pants and other completely impractical clothing for being around dogs.


Breeds Owned:

Hypoallergenic breeds, rare breeds, breeds that match their upholstery

“He matches perfectly! Winston, write a check!

Skill Level:

Low with strange savant moments. Having thrown money at just about every dog-related issue, the MMTS owner lacks the most basic of dog skills.   They are, however, skilled at hiring people do the work for them and then complaining when it’s not done to their unrealistic standards. That being said though, they will frequently surprise you with their vast knowledge on one particular aspect of dog care.

“and stop trying to give me advice!”

Catch Phrases:

“Surely we can hire someone for that”, “I paid good money for this”, “If I pay you more, can you teach him to love me?”

There isn’t enough money in the world.


Anecdotal Evidence:



An old neighbor of mine definitely fit the bill of a MMTS owner.   Between paying WAY too much for a pet-quality dog, sending the dog off to a 6 week “bootcamp” (TWICE!!)  to improve his manners, and going through dog trainers like toilet paper, this owner spent more time throwing money at the “problem” than actually interacting with his own dog.  He never quite seemed to understand why his dog wasn’t perfect despite having spent so much time in training with the “best of the best”.   Um, dude, maybe it’s because YOU haven’t actually done the training with your dog or followed up on anything the trainers told you to do.   Just a thought…




Much to my own shame, I work for a MMTS owner. Since I’d like to keep that job, I won’t talk about that here. I can, however, talk about another MMTS owner I know. This dog has OTB (only the best) food, collars, leashes… She goes to a vet about two hours away because nothing close by is good enough. When she was told that the dog was getting too fat, instead of exercising the dog like any normal human being, she sent the dog off to a fat camp. Barking problems? Two weeks of board and train. The dog is a short haired beast that could easily be washed in a sink but instead goes to the groomer weekly. When you work in the dog industry, these people can be both a curse and a blessing.

Make him thinner, and nicer… actually just trade him in, It’s time for a new model.

Know a MMTS owner? Willing to admit to being one? Tell us in the comments!

9 Responses to “Dog Owner Profile: More Money Than Sense”

  1. TheRedQueen August 20, 2013 at 2:03 am #

    In the flyball world, it seems that these are the people that send their dogs out of state/country for training…and still have an “okay” dog that turns in “okay” times…instead of just working their own dog and enjoying the process. I mean, it’s not like we’re making money playing this game…I thought it was about interacting with your dog and having fun.

  2. Lolly August 20, 2013 at 3:10 am #

    My dog loves Hormel turkey pepperoni slices. She gets them for treats. When we are visiting my nieces, they give her LOTS of treats, which is fine with me because it is making her feel more bonded/friendly with them, she was more aloof when they weren’t clutching yummies for her. A lady at a fancy dog park saw me with them and acted like I was shoveling poison down the dog’s throat and sniffed “I only give my dog organic lamb’s lung.” I used to spend hella money on expensive treats, organic this and that, fancy jerky, etc. – but with all the recalls and dubious production values for some of those things, I just feed her raw (Primal Foods) and let her have the people food (pepperoni, bits of cheese, popcorn, green beans, steamed carrots, hot dogs, or a bite or two of what I’m having) for a treat. Frankly, it saves money and I know the dog likes it better. The only bag of lungs I ever bought had to be donated to the shelter.

  3. Lolly August 20, 2013 at 3:12 am #

    P.S. I realize that I could make my own raw food, but honestly, I don’t have a big enough freezer. It’s already mostly dog stuff, with a few bags of frozen fruits for me.

  4. Diane August 20, 2013 at 3:25 am #

    I’m the webmaster for my obedience club’s website and received an email via the website. Seems an apparent MMTS is going away in three weeks and wants to know if he can send us his dog and we’ll have it totally trained by then. My first inclination was to explain that, as an obedience club, we don’t train dogs, we teach the owner to train their own dog. And even if we did take other people’s dogs, and even if a dog could be thoroughly trained in three weeks (not bloody likely), his dog would be thoroughly trained – for us. If Mr. Owner gave his dog a command and he’d get back the canine equivalent of the one finger salute.

  5. tarynft August 20, 2013 at 12:05 pm #

    I’m a MMTS person in just one (I hope!) area and that is in what I feed my dogs. I feed raw but am too lazy to do the whole process of grinding/mixing the meats, etc. myself. I buy the pre-packaged raw that is already fully balanced, and sold at ridiculously high prices!

    and corgis Jimmy and Wilson

  6. No Spam August 20, 2013 at 4:59 pm #

    MMTS dingbat #1: you cannot just throw $$ at people & think that you can buy someone else’s time to take care of your silly pure bred purse accessories in lieu of putting your OWN time to properly parent your little precious snack dogs. No you cannot buy out other pet sitting clients’ time either. There is no replacement that money can buy for good (or even merely decent) pet guardianship/parenthood. MAKE YOUR OWN DAMNED TIME FOR YOUR OWN DAMN DOGS!!

  7. Paul August 20, 2013 at 10:32 pm #

    Actually there’s an MMTS at the dog park who cuts quite a striking figure…the human-tiny, immaculate grooming, Japanese, perfect dark flowing hair, tasteful jewels…the dog-the size of the human, immaculate grooming, Japanese, perfect dark flowing hair, tasteful jewels. They keep to themselves, both too overdressed to play…but suppose the point is being seen.

    • Idaho shooter August 24, 2013 at 4:18 pm #

      That’s sounds way too much like my ex-wife. Except she has Corgis…you know the Queens dogs…

  8. Mom2LiveDog September 18, 2013 at 7:11 am #

    I win, er, lose. I’m dealing with a whole family of MMTSs who like to sue each other ….. over the dog. The 87 year old non-verbal woman with multiple dementias really didn’t need a 1 yr pit/Corgi from the pound. She’s non-verbal. Nobody knows how she feels about it but she probably doesn’t like being bitten. Nursing and household staff round the clock, but nobody responsible for opening a door to let the poor beast out to poop. Wish I had quoted them a higher rate.

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