Welcome Aboard or How Long Till We Move To A Mini-van?

27 Aug

We’ve come to a sad realization here at The Dog Snobs.   What is it you ask?  Well, we’re fairly certain that we have are essentially glorified “cruise directors” for our dogs.    While we don’t smile nearly as much as cruise directors, nor do we have that crazy desperate look in our eyes (we hope) and a name like “Dan, Dan the Fun Times Man”, we do spend a good amount of our time catering to our dogs needs.  Between shuttling them around to various activities, planning excursions, and making sure that they keep busy and happy, we’re pretty sure they’re controlling our lives.

She’s us with bigger hair and a creepier smile.

Perhaps it would be more fair to compare ourselves to Soccer Moms, but god help us if we ever get those stick figure families on the back of our car.  If you ever see us driving around in a minivan adorned with those stickers, you have full permission to mock us.  Endlessly. And publicly.

Mind you, we enjoy doing so many activities with our dogs (and it’s not as if our dogs are demanding we take them to ten different classes a week), but we do wonder if it’s normal how much time we spend shuttling them around. An hour and a half to this class, two hours to that one. Forty five minutes to pick up that one special food they can have, thirty to take them to that park where people don’t side eye you for dropping the leash. It’s getting out of hand. At least cruise directors get tipped.  What do we get?  The joy of a dog that may or may not vomit in our shoes and the joy of filling up yet another tank of gas.

All this being said, do we plan to cut back anytime soon?  Nope.  We just heard there’s a new class being offered 45 minutes away….

We’ll be meeting at 4 on the Lido deck

*Anyone else feel the same way as us?  Does another job description fit you better?  We want to hear, so share below*

25 Responses to “Welcome Aboard or How Long Till We Move To A Mini-van?”

  1. Crazy Spotted Dog Lady August 27, 2013 at 2:05 am #

    That’s actually why I moved 9 hours from home in March… easier availability of dog sports!

    • sonja admas August 15, 2016 at 12:42 pm #

      where is that if you don’t mind my asking? curious the best places to live for dog sports?

  2. Angela August 27, 2013 at 2:19 am #

    Caddy. I think I’m a Caddy…

  3. Kathleen August 27, 2013 at 2:23 am #

    I’m in recovery from a life overscheduled with dog activities. If I cannot do it in my own neighborhood then it’s off my list. I’m more relaxed and rested and I have more money to spend on me. Love your posts!

  4. Tracy August 27, 2013 at 2:23 am #

    I would write a real reply but I have to go make personalized dinner bags and then pack the mini-van since we’re driving the dogs to Las Vegas this weekend for a competition. If we only do two short stops, we should get there in about 9.5 hours.

  5. TheRedQueen August 27, 2013 at 2:25 am #

    I have a sprinter van with crates 3 high for the dogs safety (with room leftover for flyball gear of course!). I have a meetup for dog activities and hikes. I work as dog trainer/dog walker so they can go with me each and every day. I go on vacations to destinations where they are welcome. I spend almost all of my waking hours with them.

    OMG…they are dominating me!

  6. Sean August 27, 2013 at 2:47 am #

    That’s not cruise director. That’s helicopter parent.

  7. Jo August 27, 2013 at 3:09 am #

    I’m pretty sure I am not so much a member of the staff, as I am a glorified snack machine. They wouldn’t need me at all, if they could just figure out how to bake treats.

  8. Amy August 27, 2013 at 3:25 am #

    Hi folks,
    Love the blog! That last illustration in your post comes originally from the blog, Hyperbole and a Half. While the last couple of posts have been darkly humorous, owing to the author’s battle with depression, she has some great ones about her own dogs. The whole thing is reliably hilarious. Check it out some time!

    Keep up the great work! Can’t wait for your next post!

  9. workbox August 27, 2013 at 5:34 am #

    Celebrating one year of having moved to the mini van….!

  10. kayota August 27, 2013 at 6:38 am #

    I would be like this if I didn’t have school and work!

  11. Vicki Smith August 27, 2013 at 11:07 am #

    When I lived in Seattle, I used to load up my Doberman and drive two and a half hours up to Canada twice a week for Schutzhund. Never again. I now have an hour limit and class better be worth it. The quality of training where I live is not great, so I’ve learned to be a better trainer and to accept that I am not Nationals material, even if my dog might be. Maybe it’s just me getting old… Or maybe, if I suddenly had nothing but free time and a minivan, I could get another Doberman and, and….

  12. tarynft August 27, 2013 at 11:29 am #

    My significant other doesn’t share my fascination with everything agility, and in a slightly derogatory tone, he calls my trials “dog soccer”, as in “Do you have dog soccer this weekend or can we make some realplans? So I guess I really am a soccer mom, at least in his eyes!

    Oh, and I just recently posted about stick figures ( http://cardiganshirecorgis.blogspot.com/2013/08/i-couldnt-resist.html ). You are going to have to mock me 😉

  13. zaedah August 27, 2013 at 11:30 am #

    Must carve out time every single day for dog park with 11 month old lab. Otherwise he builds up enough crackling energy to nuke the state of Pennsylvania.

  14. Mu August 27, 2013 at 12:23 pm #

    Minivans are the new cool! My friends laughed when we bought our white dodge caravan (geesh, no kids, not even 35 and buying a minivan?), but said we had embrassed it in style. Our van is set up with a perfectly fitted aluminum double dog box, which is set just high enough so two adults can sleep in the back. A bench seat can be installed but we rarely have it in place as we usually have more dog, bikes, skies, what ever gear is in season between the dog box and front seats. Rear “stow-and-go” seats are long gone leaving tons of trunk space. The tail gate can be fully opened, while the rest of the van and dog boxes are locked, making the van perfectly doggy comfy on hot summer days, and more so if I set the custom made mosquito net over the tail gate opening.
    We chase sled dog events in which we compete skijoring, bikejoring, thats a lot of travelling all over North Eastern America and also travel to human only sporting events, but never leave the pooches behind. I can say, we did buy the minivan for the dogs but love it for all its other attributes.
    I am total van snob! And my minivan is the coolest!

  15. Julia August 27, 2013 at 2:53 pm #

    Chauffer, maid,cruise director, personal chef, coach….. and mattress. I fulfill all their needs. But I’m OK with that.

  16. Diane August 27, 2013 at 5:58 pm #

    Minivan? I wish I had a minivan. Do you know how much it costs to put gas in a full size commercial-type van? Or how often it gets filled? When you’re schlepping around 3 wolfhounds and a greyhound, minivans are a little too small. Especially with the chairs, x-pens, ice chests filled with raw meat, etc. etc. Of course the only places we ever go are dog shows and trials. I hear tell that some people go on (dogless) vacations. Must be nice. You’d mentioned previously people asking you how much did your dog cost. When people ask me that, my answer is $30,000. But that includes the van.

  17. Celine August 27, 2013 at 6:47 pm #

    I’ll drive a total of an hour, to walk my dog downtown instead of in the burbs… for 15-20 minutes. He prefers walking there because there is more to see (read: more people to pet him and tell him how gorgeous he is), but he’s a lazy bulldog, so the walks are short. Some days he won’t even get out of the car once we get there, or he’ll lie down after a block. I’m not sure whether I do this more for him or for me. lol.

  18. Moth August 27, 2013 at 7:58 pm #

    Since I have a basenji and a shar pei I am more like an English Butler/scullery maid…

  19. BethBeth September 1, 2013 at 2:07 pm #

    I’m staying in denial with my Honda Fit. My GSD isn’t ready to show and my lab is retired.

  20. Jerri Martin September 6, 2013 at 4:00 am #

    I have not driven a regular car in years. I
    am not sure what a normal car feels like. I use to drive an extended van, so I could get all my gear in it and all my dogs and travel to dog shows and classes. Plus I drive 1 1/2 hours to work. I had to give up my van when the van wore out and the gas prices went up. Still think about that. Now I drive a scion Xbox with 2 dog crates, and lots of gear. I also have to either take vacation time or work extra time to take off for dog shows or classes. I don’t have decals on the back of my scion I have doggie magnets which I can remove when getting a car wash. My dogs even go to work with me sometimes and the entire office loves them. I even pay for yearly membership to a local park lake every year.

  21. Jennifer September 16, 2013 at 9:03 pm #

    Belatedly late, I have a Chevy Equinox I’m in love with. I can get five dogs of varying sizes, crates, x-pens, a grooming table, grooming box, five food bins, a cooler, my bags, my show outfits, the huge rubbermaid bin with all the junk (read: toys, treats, bowls, buckets, and extra grooming supplies, among other miscellania) in it, and still have room for a passenger. The back seat folded down is also so comfortable when made into a bed I’m considering staying in it at Perry next spring (so I guess I’ll have to make friends with somebody going in an RV so I can get a shower). Plus it gets 28 miles to the gallon highway and it’s a joy to drive. The fact that I bought it in my training company’s primary color is just happy coincidence.

    Yet I still have a three hour max drive time on shows/trials. And a 30 min max drive time for classes. Which would be minimized if I could find enough people in Gainesville to put together a kennel club.

    • TheDogSnobs September 16, 2013 at 9:07 pm #

      I would suggest feeling out around Ocala. Most of the members have to drive a long-ass way to them anyway (Archer to Dunnellon to Ft. White even) and the Conformation club (And obedience club if I’m honest) are totally rife with drama right now.

      I’d help out but I’m nearly 2 hours to Gainesville. :/


    • TheDogSnobs September 16, 2013 at 9:09 pm #

      Pawsitively Fun Dog training and the woman who own K9 Design are in that neck of the woods. I’d try them for some feelers.

  22. No Spam December 27, 2014 at 5:35 pm #

    I am a firm believer in reward-based dog learning & pretty anti punishment-based…. though I am frequently tempted to the punishment side of things. And by “punishment”, I am referring to punishment of the human by driving from Ballard to 5 or 6pm classes located in Auburn or Sumner or Kent or Fife.

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