Shit The Dog Snobs Love: Lean, Mean, and Clean

10 Dec

In this edition of “Shit The Dog Snobs” we’re discussing our favorite grooming products. We have active dogs.  That means they sometimes (fine, a lot of the time) get dirty.  Between that and their varying hair lengths and types, we have quite a bit of experience with various grooming products.  Below we share just a few of our favorites.

**The Cheap**

Baby Wipes:

Several companies sell dog-wipes, but let’s be honest, they’re exactly the same as the baby ones, just with the prices jacked up. Save yourself some money to spend on other shit and just buy unscented baby wipes.  These are a godsend for those times when your dog needs a little spit-shine but you aren’t in the mood to give them an actual bath.  While probably not a good idea for a truly filthy dog, these are great for things like wiping off patches of dirt and other mysterious things that may find themselves clinging to your dog’s fur.  BusyBee also keeps a box of unscented baby wipes in her car so she can do a quick wipedown of muddy paws before Mr. T  jumps in and tromp all over her seats.  As a caution, people may begin to suspect you are having a baby if you start buying these in bulk.  You have our permission to throat punch anyone who reaches out to touch your non-baby carrying belly.


Klever Kutter:

Despite the super questionable use of K instead of C, this is a product that is going to change your life for less then three dollars, specifically if you have a long haired dog. Yeah, it’s meant to be a box cutter (and it really sucks at that job) but it’s true calling is matt splitter. Those obnoxious matts dogs sometimes get behind their ears no matter how often you brush? Please don’t take the scissors to them. you’ll cut off your dogs ear and probably lose a finger. Instead, safely slip the little plastic tip under the mat and lift up. It’s magical.



Zoom Groom:  

We’re pretty sure that this is at least one Kong product that doesn’t look like a sex toy.  At least we hope not.  The Zoom Groom is meant for all coats, but it seems to be the most effective for short-coated dogs like Mr. T (in fact, it’s the only grooming tool BusyBee owns).  Most dogs love being brushed with it and will even lean in for more brushing and massaging magic.  It’s great for using in the tub to help massage the shampoo into fur and as a deshedding tool when your dog is dry. (Pro Tip:  The Zoom Groom can also be used to remove those annoying needle-like furs that weave into your carpet.  Just apply some pressure and move the brush in a circular manner). While this tool certainly isn’t enough for coated dogs, it should be a staple in your grooming regimen, especially if you your dog has shorter fur.


**The Less Cheap**


Chris Christensen Shampoo:


If you’ve ever been to a dog show, you’ve seen the giant booth of brushes and shampoos with the “Chris Christensen” label. White bottled, claim to do everything under the sun. Familiar? The difference between those shampoos and all the other shampoos that claim to work is… CC products actually DO work. They do what they say on the tin and they say a LOT of things on the tin. We’re pretty sure CC has a shampoo made specifically for making your hot pink dog an even more obnoxious shade of pink and if it’s anything like their other color shampoos, it’s awesome.



Are you one of those weirdos that still clips their dog’s nails? If so, you’re doing it wrong. Let us introduce you to a product that is going to change your life. (unless your dog pisses itself at the sound, then go right back to your clippers and stay in the 90s with the rest of the losers) There are approximately one million “doggie nail grinders” but those are for pansies. No, what you want is the straight up power tool. Man up, go to home depot, buy a real dremel, go home and grind your dog’s nails. Then feel free to come back and thank us.


**The Super Duper Not Cheap**


Isle of Dog aka Isle of Holy Shit I own this Island of sudsy dogs and I’m putting in a Sandals resort:

Sometimes Potnoodle cries at night because of how much she loves this shampoo. Seriously, she wants to bathe in it for the rest of her life. Unfortunately she can’t because she’d have to start auctioning off organs. Why on earth pay forty dollars for a litre of shampoo you can’t even dilute, you ask? Because it’s awesome and it smells like sunshine and cupcakes. Plus it makes Potnoodle’s white poodle sparkle, and she likes shiny things.


Les Pooch Brushes:

If you have a long-haired dog and haven’t heard of this brush, we’re about to blow your mind (and save you from carpal tunnel) It has to be the Les Pooch brand, don’t go eyeballing the cheap Pet Edge knockoffs. If you have a dog you have to line brush, you’re going to need a Les Pooch. Just don’t faint when you see the price.

*Anything you’d like to add?  Any groomers want to share their secrets?  We want to hear!*

32 Responses to “Shit The Dog Snobs Love: Lean, Mean, and Clean”

  1. Marsha December 10, 2013 at 1:36 am #

    Love love love Chris Christensen products! I have a Poodle in a continental and am grooming every other week. Nothing touches his coat except CC products, brushes, combs, etc… I do have two SMALL bottles of Isle Of Dogs shampoo and conditioner purchased at a show. I adore how it smells, but the dogs and I need to eat, so I ration it and use it sparingly!

    If you need grooming bands, I highly recommend The Color Coordinated Canine for bands, wraps, etc….

    Keep up the good work ladies. I love your blog!

    • Melinda December 11, 2013 at 4:28 am #

      Love Isle of Dog shampoo, but I may have to try the CC as well. One thing that I love that they didn’t recommend was a Mason Pearson brush with the natural bristles and the nylon combined. They’re horrendously expensive, but I’ve had mine for 20 years and always start my puppies on it as it’s soft enough for delicate puppies, and yet will get through the coat. I use it for faces and legs of even longer haired dogs. They object to it less. One day I may have to get one for me!

  2. Christine Vezina December 10, 2013 at 1:48 am #

    Forced air drier. For getting ALL the fur out. You’ll have to speak to someone else about brands, because until I move out and away from the house full of asthmatics, it is still just a pipe dream. But oh, dream of it I do…

    • Linda Medero December 10, 2013 at 3:07 am #

      LOL, you are right, the fur literally FLIES after a bath. Half my job is done before I even get a brush out.

    • tide-eyed December 10, 2013 at 8:36 pm #

      Yes yes YES!!! I used to do all the “bath & brush” clients and starter work at a groom shop. A forced air drier is like… on my dream list. By far the most amazing thing ever created for getting rid of hair!

  3. Ipleadthefifth December 10, 2013 at 1:50 am #

    Even better than the genuine Dremel: Get yourself the extender wand (or whatever it’s called – I don’t remember). It lets you hang that heavy Dremel up and use a lightweight tool that’s about the size of a fat pencil. It also means your dog doesn’t have to have that big noisy tool right on his/her nails. Mine all prefer this tool. And if you need to Dremel on a budget, go to True Value Hardware and get the MUCH less expensive house-brand look-alike. Works just as well and takes all the same attachments for about 1/3 the price.

    Oh, and don’t even bother with the battery Dremel — it’s too slow and if you have more than one dog, the battery life/recharge time will make you crazy.

    • Doranna December 10, 2013 at 3:53 am #

      I just moved from a regular Dremel to a battery for two reasons: the cord was such a PITA! And the revolutions were too high; my dogs could feel the heat far too quickly. The battery takes longer for sure, but the dogs are finally beginning to relax.

      Also, for mats: seam rippers! 8)

  4. Jennifer December 10, 2013 at 1:57 am #

    I have the Les Pooches slicker but now prefer Chris Christensen’s curved slicker (easier on my wrists) for my Std Poodle. I also have an arsenal of Ashley Craig combs. OK, they come in delicious colors. I needed some gratification for me. And yes, the K9-II is the best forced dryer. I have the K9-III and it’s overkill.

    Start a post on custom made collars and leads and I’m in.

  5. Jenna December 10, 2013 at 2:08 am #

    Hey Potnoodle, good news! Feel free to dilute your IoD shampoo! I use the coarse coat on my standard poodle, and since I always shampoo at least twice (I will use a clarifying shampoo every few baths to remove buildup or if she’s filthy prior to using the IoD) I would have to make some Faustian deal with the dark lord to afford to keep bathing her. I fill a 32oz mixing bottle about a third to half full of water and put about 6 to 10 pumps in there. On the final shampoo I let it marinate for a couple of minutes. It’s not using a whole lot less shampoo per bath but I definitely get better coverage since she’s in competition length coat. This was all on recommendation by the IoD rep I bought the stuff from as well. I definitely dilute the crap out of the conditioner, even the light conditioner makes her coat too soft for my liking.

    • Melinda December 11, 2013 at 4:21 am #

      I got talked into tryin IoD on my Pyr Shep who was chewing himself up. Worked wonders. He quit chewing up his coat and now has a lovely specials coat. I dilute the conditioner as well although I tend to dilute it less if he’s going to be in rough brush as it keeps the coat from breaking as much. He’s a merle and I use the black shampoo which makes his color really pop.

  6. Phil Miller December 10, 2013 at 2:13 am #

    We have a Zoom Groom for shumba, who is 110lb Rhodesian Ridgeback, but we also have a glove like this, which works quite well on his short coat:

    And, because he has toenails like iron pegs we bought one of the battery nail grinders, but it wasn’t up to the job. We now have the full on Dremel. It is great.

    • Diane December 10, 2013 at 2:38 am #

      Mars Coat King!!! I love it. It takes the place of a whole lot of hand stripping.It doesn’t do ears – there are still places you have to hand strip, but what it does, it does well and fast. There’s some disagreement in my breed about whether it’s pulling out the hair or just breaking it off but I think it does a great job and I’ve never had Coat Kinged coat grow back funny. They’re not cheap, but so worth it.

  7. melissa December 10, 2013 at 2:29 am #


    • ellen December 10, 2013 at 10:18 am #

      Second the Furminator. A must have tool for a German Sheddef

  8. Chris December 10, 2013 at 2:54 am #

    Any dremel used on a dog’s toenails should have an automatic shut off and a guard. Especially dangerous for long-haired dogs if that beautiful flowing tail hair gets caught. Trust one who has made the trip to the emergency vet. 😦

    • Staci December 10, 2013 at 7:36 am #

      Or you could have a helper hold the tail. An auto shut off won’t trigger until the hair is already caught anyway.

      For furry feet and feathers, pantyhose with holes for the nails rubber banded over the foot/leg works wonders for those afraid of catching fur.

      • Melinda December 11, 2013 at 4:23 am #

        Went to a George Alston clinic where he talked about dremels wrapping up in the fur. He tried the pantyhose but found it to be troublesome. Another groomer just said spray the feet with water and pull the hair back so it stays. Much easier and it softens the nail a little.

  9. Diana December 10, 2013 at 2:55 am #

    If you are a stripper (like me and most of my friends) then you will end up with a wide variety of knives, stones, combs and, well, poles. A good hardworking tool are those bright pink Sally Beauty nail files. On the less cheap, but super awesome pole-like end are Greyhound’s Shaper, Transition, and Detailer. Three sizes of hair pulling perfection. If you’d rather be stoned, you can find pumice barbecue cleaners MUCH cheaper per cubic inch than the smaller pieces you find in dog supply stores.

  10. Linda Medero December 10, 2013 at 2:56 am #

    OK, you’ve suckered me in. I’m going to try the les pooches brushes. Can’t see how they can be any better than a regular old CC slicker brush, but curiosity has gotten the better of me. What the hell, what’s another week of eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches when my dogs can look gor-ge-ous with less effort. It better come with instructions, and maybe a maid to clean the house.

  11. Anne Williams December 10, 2013 at 3:23 am #

    have used babywipes, and the dremel for a long time, both are excellent. Have pugs who as a breed hate toenails clipped, dremel has totally solved the problem

  12. Anne Williams December 10, 2013 at 3:25 am #

    or….. if you live in NZ you pick chunks up free from thebeach!!!! 🙂

  13. casdog1 December 10, 2013 at 3:43 am #

    My favorite grooming tool is the harsh, working double coat on my Central Asians that never needs so much as a brush run through it, even during coat blowing season. They also never need their nails done. 😉

    But when I had a Borzoi who was mostly white, I LOVED the Quiksilver whitening shampoo. It’s made for horses & you can get it at any feed or farm supply store. It’s amazing. I live in South Carolina (think red clay!) & in 10 minutes it would leave my Borzoi’s white parts absolutely shining white. In the evening light he would actually glow. It was like using an eraser on a dry erase board rubbing that into the white parts of his coat. The stains simply disappeared. Even his feet & pee feathers were perfect glistening snow white. I also used John Frieda’s Frizz Ease spray as his finishing spray when I groomed him for shows. It killed static, gave him a nice sheen, & made it much easier to keep him clean during a show weekend (damn long haired male dogs & their damn pee feathers).

  14. Natalie December 10, 2013 at 3:45 am #

    Nailed it. As a fellow Standard Poodle owner, I’d especially second the Chris Christensen and the Les Pooch.

  15. bethgsd December 10, 2013 at 12:50 pm #

    For my German Shepherds I use an undercoat rake. Love it, though I try and use it only out of doors since it removes so much loose hair and this house has enough dog hair in it.

  16. Linda Perkins December 10, 2013 at 2:41 pm #

    Dilute that IOD. There is even the dilution ratio on the bottles. Love it for my beardies.

  17. Denise December 10, 2013 at 7:19 pm #

    I’ve got an easy wash and wear single coated mutt who doesn’t shed much but I still love my zoom groom and my dremel is much loved. He hates the clippers but was easy to acclimate to the dremel. Just got a new higher powered dremel a few months ago, 8200 12v Max lithium-ion cordless. So far it’s great and the battery isn’t supposed to crap out after about a year of slowly preforming worse and worse. Charged it once after I bought it and it’s still going strong months later without another charge doing my boys nails every 10-14 days.

  18. CrazyFunDogs December 10, 2013 at 8:03 pm #

    Because I hadn’t already spent enough on Christmas. Now I must go find some of these things. Oh my goodness. Great finds. Can’t wait. Plan to show my Mom a couple of them as well. While I don’t have longer haired dogs that need that mat splitter, I have a long hair that I have attempted to cut out a mat before. Realized it was not a good idea before anyone got hurt. Tried to use the dogs’ wire brush on him. That wasn’t much better. This will be awesome!

  19. tide-eyed December 10, 2013 at 8:30 pm #

    Aside from non-crazy-ass-chemical dog shampoo, the best thing on the planet for dog grooming is a Shed’n Blade! Holy sweet Jesus, they are the most amazing thing ever. Take that thing to a Heeler, and watch a second dog magically appear on the ground next to where you’re grooming!

  20. Stacey December 10, 2013 at 11:54 pm #

    A tracking friend of mine introduced me to the BurrPaw and I now keep one in my car at all times. But if you have sewing skills, you could probably make your own out of soft Velcro.

  21. Morgan December 12, 2013 at 12:57 pm #

    Oh grooming experts, forgive me for I have sinned. I purchased the cheapo Pet Edge slicker brush. I wish to redeem mys soul by buy purchasing a Les Pooch slicker. Which one (for a Papillon with wooly ears prone to pin mats)?


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