10 More Things You Really Need to Stop Doing

18 Jan

We recently posted a list of things we wished dog owners would stop doing.  If you thought that was an exhaustive list then you don’t know us very well.  Here are 10 more things we continue to judge you for.

1.  Stop pretending like you know it all.  

Newsflash.  It’s totally ok to not know something.  If you don’t know, ask.  Or just stay silent.  But please don’t continue to incorrectly interject yourself into dog-related conversations, internet forums, and groups.  Chances are good that someone will actually know what they are talking about, which will just make you look like an even bigger idiot than you probably already are.

2. Being that person who never has poop bags

We get it.  We’ve all been there.  That panic-stricken moment when you reach into your pocket and realize you are fresh out of poop bags.  It happens.  But it shouldn’t happen every day.  It’s not that hard to keep one in your jacket or, we dunno, invest in those new-fangled poop bag leash attachments.   If you’re that person that finds themselves asking random strangers for extra poop bags every day, you’re doing it wrong.  And we judge you.

Still not a valid reason to leave home without a poop bag

Still not a valid reason to leave home without a poop bag

3. Saying you adopted your dog when you didn’t.

If you got your dog from a breeder, you bought it.  And that’s perfectly fine.  Did it come from craigslist? Did you “rescue” it from a shitty breeder by paying for it? If so, you didn’t adopt your dog. Stop using that.

4.  Claiming your shelter dog is a rare breed.

Yeah, so the chances of your shelter dog being a PBGV mix….pretty slim.  And the chances of it it being a Chinook?  Even slimmer.  Do you really think there are rogue Vallhunds roaming around bumfuck impregnating every bitch in sight?  It’s perfectly ok to not know what your dog is.  Hell, it’s half the fun of having a mutt.  It doesn’t make you seem fancy when you label your dog a rare breed or mix thereof.  It just makes you look silly.

Your mom is an idiot

Your mom is an idiot


5. Doing the bare minimum health testing

OK shitty breeders. The public is on to you. They read in this one article online that dogs should be health tested. Maybe some of the smarter ones even have letters floating around in their head (CFA? No… that’s the crazy cat ladies. FFA? No, that’s those nice kids that sold me the wooden bench. What WERE those letters?) So, what do you do? Put “Vet Tested Parents” on your craigslist ad or even just having the hips OFA’d and not doing any other health tests. Buzzwords, they don’t just work for advertising health food.

Testing complete.  This is definitely a dog.

Testing complete. This is definitely a dog.

6.  Letting your dog get fat in the winter

There is no such thing as “winter” weight for dogs.  It’s not like they can hibernate all winter in chunky wool sweaters and no one will notice they’ve gained a few (or 15) pounds.  We know that in parts of the country the weather gets pretty nasty in the winter.  That’s fine.  There are plenty of things you can do with your dog inside to keep their exercise levels up.  Or maybe you could just feed it less if you know exercise will be lower.  Dogs shouldn’t be yo-yo dieting, and frankly, from what we’ve seen, letting your dog get fat in the winter is just a stop on the way to having an obese dog in the spring.


7. Using “Ewe” instead of “You” in your herding dog’s name.

We get it, puns are funny. “Ewe” can stop now. (OK, not as big of a no-no as the others but that stopped being funny 300 AKC names ago.)

We beg ewe to stop

We beg ewe to stop

8.  Talking in “puppy speak”

Pwease stwap tawking wike a  widdle puppay, otay?  Gag.  Is that really how you imagine your dog talking?  For real?  Why would you wish a speech impediment on your dog?  In addition to just plain being annoying, it really is hard to understand and can be down-right headache inducing.   If you’re going to give your dog an accent, at least go with Australian, ok mates?

*insert lame justification for having hot shirtless male here*

*insert lame justification for having hot shirtless male here*

9.  Asking for serious medical advice on the internet.

Seriously.  Step away from the keyboard and get to a vet.  Now. There is a about a 0.0007% chance that the guy answering your Yahoo Answers post is an actual Vet and like a 94% chance he’s a loser that lives in his mom’s basement and knows how to google. (Thinking that doesn’t quite add up to 100%?  Good.  We leave the rest to your imagination.) Do you want a degenerate that knows how to google to give you medical advice? No?  Didn’t think so.  Go to the vet.

Don't trust him, his pants were photoshopped on

Don’t trust him, his pants were photoshopped on

10.  Treating training class as dog play time.

Did your trainer specifically advertise the class as socialization time? No? Then stop treating it like that. While it might be all fun and games for you, some people are there to actually train their dogs and they don’t need yours lunging at the end of the leash trying to “play”, especially if it is a class for people that intend to compete

We're tired.  It has the word class in it.  Go with it.

We’re tired. It has the word class in it. Go with it.

*Agree? Disagree?  Just want to complain?  Go for it!*

51 Responses to “10 More Things You Really Need to Stop Doing”

  1. Joy Clark Brunton January 18, 2014 at 1:12 am #

    Another post picked from my brain. Next time you do one of these lists can you add letting your dog use the veterinary clinic waiting room as dog park? Hey stupid people, dogs are more stressed at the vet and may not act the same way they do at the dog park. And oh yeah, people bring SICK animals to the vet.

    • Linda O January 18, 2014 at 1:07 pm #

      LOL! I was going to ask the same thing!!! I work for a vet, and I am constantly telling people “Now, you just let Fluffy interact with that other dog- We don’t know if he/she is contagious”… Or “You’re lucky Fido is nice- Your puppy could have had a VERY ad experience, there!”

  2. Vicki Smith January 18, 2014 at 1:20 am #

    Thank you for the shirtless man picture. Like….ummm, and I needed some amusement having just returned from the vet. Really. Thought my girl might have an ACL injury – no thank Dog.

    I do use the internet for vet information, but mostly to get a handle on side effects of meds and what scary symptoms might mean before I go. I have refused meds based on what I read (certain NSAIDs) and my vet has always listened and suggested an alternative. (LOVE my vet!)

    Meanwhile, I’m going back to the pic…

    • Mountain Poodle January 18, 2014 at 1:32 am #

      Ten+ years ago in Boulder, some people told me that their shelter dog was most likely a Kai Ken. Ok then.

      BTW… that shirtless guy is hot!

  3. Mandy Massara January 18, 2014 at 1:26 am #

    OK you forgot number 11. In an otherwise decent post, you refer to the dogs as “it”. I have no “its” living with me. An “it” is an inanimate object, of which dogs are not.A dog is a living, breathing and beautiful creature. They come in “his/him” or “her/she” not “its”.

    • Rachel January 18, 2014 at 3:04 am #

      I do use it if I do not know the gender of the dog,same with human babies. He might be considered sexist,and if you get the gender wrong you get people mad as well. I think I`ll stick to it.

  4. Stacie Jo Enriquez January 18, 2014 at 1:47 am #

    Todays Post was the BEST thing I have read in a Very Long Time!!! Every Point is Brilliant!!!

  5. Tammy January 18, 2014 at 1:54 am #

    #4 – someone told me the other day that they were told their 10 lb, 6 month old doodly mix from the shelter may have Otterhound in it. Seriously – do you know how many Otterhounds there are in the US?

  6. Barbara Craig January 18, 2014 at 2:47 am #

    Ewe might not like the use of *ewe* in dog’s names, but I haven’t gotten over it yet… my latest has it in his name .. But not just a *herding* breed but from herding lines and I plan herding to be his first sport… I agree it is a little silly in a dog that has never SEEN a sheep… the other points are pretty much right on !!

  7. Rachel January 18, 2014 at 3:01 am #

    I end up having to feed my dog more in the winter so he doesn’t get too skinny…

    With the vet advice,I’ve only seen someones information be really useful once. That was after they went to the vet and still didn’t know what was wrong. I understand asking and waiting for minor injuries,but its hard to believe when the people have a paralyzed dog fumbling around the house for days,and they just ask people online like they can magically cure it and no whats wrong.

    The adopted rare breed one always bothered me as well,their Pit bull mix being called a Dogo argentino or a Corgi mix a Vallhund. Of course all the wolf hybrids that are really some sort of Husky,Malamute or GSD mix. If you want your dog to be more interesting or eye catching then make it so without lying.

  8. Emma January 18, 2014 at 3:33 am #

    First off, that guy for 8, let’s put more of him in everything.

    Second, I am the first to admit that I am BAD for the “my shelter dog is a rare breed” thing. The shelter listed her as a Kelpie mix, she acts like a kelpie (with some nice herding instinct to go with it), and aside from her markings she fits the standard of a working kelpie. People ask me frequently “Okay so she’s a Kelpie mix, but mixed with what exactly?”
    So even though Kelpies aren’t rampant up here in Canada, and her “DNA” claimed she was a Husky, GSD, DDB mix (she was 19lbs when I got her and has an extreme dislike of winter – she wont leave the house without a coat and boots if it’s too cold), I still call her a Kelpie mix. HOWEVER, I am a hypocrite in that I find it totally annoying when people claim those ridiculously rare breeds are mixed in with their shelter dogs. I mean, yeah Kelpies may not be that common here, but they’re not like a Bergamasco or anything.

    As for the rest of the points. Spot on, just spot on.

    • Bangles January 18, 2014 at 4:38 am #

      I just have to LOL, here in Australia just about everything in the shelter is a Kelpie mix, it’s really strange to think that somewhere the good old Kelpie is a ‘rare breed’

    • Mickeyfin January 25, 2014 at 11:01 am #

      Most. Shelter dogs has many breds in them. I so have a golden Samoyed mix, but the breeding was witnessed by the owner. He is a very big boy, looks like a light colored golden on steroids and very strong.

  9. Catherine Duke January 18, 2014 at 5:57 am #

    I’m laughing my butt off here!

    One of my regular customers recently went to our local shelter and picked up a dog that is a DEAD RINGER for a smallish Dandie Dinmont terrier. My eyeballs nearly fell out of my head when she told me where he was from. Maybe he’s some sort of poodle/doxie/whatzit cross, but whatever he is, he’s a REALLY cool dog!

  10. ThatJenK January 18, 2014 at 6:12 am #

    The awesomeness of this list cannot be understated.

    I’d add shaving any dog that shouldn’t be shaved (e.g., double-coated dogs like Newfoundlands). I don’t care if it’s summer! Don’t do it!

    • Sarah January 18, 2014 at 1:22 pm #

      Or the shaved Bulldogs, Bassets, and Labs?! I want to slap those people.

      • JenniferT January 18, 2014 at 9:25 pm #

        Ugh. I had a woman grooming client who used to insist I shave down her friggin’ PUGS fer shit’s sake. What is WRONG with some people???

    • Kristie Corson November 30, 2014 at 2:57 pm #

      Oh my lord – YES THIS. I was convinced this was a damn fine list, but you totally nailed one I’d forgotten. It KILLS me when I see an akita SHAVED – I want to cry. My akita was shaved twice in his life – his underside to find the missing testicle when he was neutered (he was chryptorchid) and when he was 13, to remove a tumor from between his ribs in his chest. It makes me physically nauseous to see these BEAUTIFUL dogs shaved down by someone that’s totally clueless and can’t be bothered to care for them properly. My dog has a beautiful triple coat and blew it twice a year- NBD. Get a brush, and kill a few hours, and problem solved.

      “It’s soooo hot” – great, well, now your dog will have sunburn, oh, and P.S. BRING YOUR DOG INSIDE. My akitas have all HATED being outdoors, so I’m sure your dog, who you shaved, is spending WAY too much time in the yard if that’s what you’re worried about. Sigh.

  11. Jeannine DeWald January 18, 2014 at 6:59 am #

    YES to #8! A lot of my contacts post for their dogs, and seriously. I’d be mortified if my dogs spoke or wrote like that. MY dogs speak decent English. I guess it’s all in what you heard at home growing up…

    • Jennifer January 18, 2014 at 7:36 am #

      The correct caption for the picture accompanying #8 is “And here is something I’d like to talk baby talk to, if you know what I mean, winkwinknudgenudge.”

  12. Gail F. January 18, 2014 at 10:20 am #

    Sigh. I admit to talking in “puppy speak”. Not all the time, and usually not where other humans can hear me. At least I usually have not only enough poop bags for my dog, but extras just in case others might need one…

  13. tarynft January 18, 2014 at 12:57 pm #

    This list is perfection! You hit on so many great peeves!

    My Jimmy is modeling one of your “Saturday toys” over on my blog…..


  14. Joan Harrigan January 18, 2014 at 1:30 pm #

    Amen to calling for the end of the misuse of the word “adoption” when someone buys a pet. And for the record, I’m a pet owner– not a pet parent or pet guardian– and my dogs are my dogs (OK, and my friends), not my “fur-babies” or “fur-children.” Doesn’t mean that I love them any less when I call them what they are: Dogs. It’s what I like about them.

    • Theresa January 18, 2014 at 2:52 pm #

      Oh that’s another grating one, “fur babies”, esp. when someone in conversations includes you, like, “We all do what we can for our fur babies”. But even worse, I’ve seen people talk about their fur kids and their “skin kids”!!! WHAT? So creepy.

      • Mountain Poodle January 18, 2014 at 4:47 pm #

        Shudder…… if someone contacts me about getting a puppy and they use the term “fur baby”, it pretty much means they are not getting on the wait list. But “skin kid”? Retch!

    • Anni January 18, 2014 at 6:10 pm #

      I’m not a ‘pawrent’ of a ‘fur babeee’. Also I get enraged by ‘Pwincess’ or ‘Diva’ references to (usually) female brat dogs. Owners who put ridiculous human emotions on dogs usually aren’t much cop with canine behaviour… e.g. ‘Fang got upset.’ Did he go boo hoo I want my mommy? No, thought not.

    • Didi Culp January 20, 2014 at 1:07 am #

      a dog savvy friend said to call children “skin pups” to demonstrate how silly it is. LOVE THIS LIST.

    • Kristie Corson November 30, 2014 at 3:00 pm #

      I correct people on this nonsense all the time. My beloved best friend of fourteen years was a puppy mill dog, who was sent to a pet store at seven weeks old – they intended to put him in the FREEZER because he was chryptorchid and “unsalable”. I STOLE him, and quit my job, saving his life. THAT is how you RESCUE a dog from a pet store. Paying for him would have been a purchase. When you pay for a dog, unless it’s an ADOPTION fee from a shelter or rescue, it’s a purchase. People just want to make themselves look all compassionate and caring, despite the fact that when they wanted a dog, their ONLY focus was “I want it now, and i dont care to be bothered finding an ethical source for said puppy”. Yuck.

  15. Danielle January 18, 2014 at 2:21 pm #

    This was a fun list! I am totally guilty of being a know-it-all. I typically read a lot about dogs online and talk to my vet. Partly because I like to read things about dog health and behavior (just to be on the up and up), and partly because I am genuinely concerned about my dog’s health and happiness. I mean, how else can I justify feeding him what I feed him, or justify training him a certain way, etc.? People like to talk about these things at dog parks, lol.

    Oh and about the winter weight thing… I agree that dogs shouldn’t put on a lot of weight in the winter, but it’s somewhat natural for them to want to put on weight in the winter. My dog, who typically is free-fed, started eating like his life depended on it when the winter months hit. I had to switch to measuring out his daily intake. He still is just a liiiiittle heavier than he would be in the summer, but I think it’s okay for a dog to fluctuate between 17.5 lbs. in the summer and around 19 in the winter. 😀

  16. Theresa January 18, 2014 at 2:50 pm #

    I haven’t done the “baby talk” speak for dogs, but I confess to being guilty of speaking for my friend’s Chihuahua with a Mexican accent . . . .

  17. TPV January 18, 2014 at 5:04 pm #

    Baby talk…………..It makes me want to fling a steaming poop bag at their heads! (And yes, I have bags in every coat or vest I own!) Although I confess to drooling like a toothless baby when I look at the picture in # 8!

    You read a book on dog training once? Lovely! That STILL doesn’t make you an expert. Look at the snarling, humping disaster of a dog that drags you down the street.

    Rare Breed? I once had the owner of a Klee Kai inform me that it was a Wolf/Husy mix. Her “breeder” told her so.

    Keep up the good rants, ladies!

    • kenknudson January 18, 2014 at 6:29 pm #

      “snarling, humping disaster” — damn, that’s funny!!!

    • Theresa January 18, 2014 at 9:36 pm #

      Ahem, I hope the bags in every coat or vest you own aren’t already full of steaming poop . . .. lol!

  18. soberski January 18, 2014 at 8:34 pm #

    Asking a Vet for advice/help sounds good and is probably the best approach most of the time, however not always. Case in point, dealing with Addisons Disease; my Vet knew the basics but without the help of the Addisons Dog Yahoo Group I would have never figured out how to reduce the dose of Percorten to the lowest level possible to optimize electrolyte levels for my dog, my Vets didn’t know. I have to give them credit for listening to me and going along with information I brought to them from the Addison’s Group.

  19. Stacey January 19, 2014 at 11:26 pm #

    I got a dog from the shelter that was listed as a “wirehair pointing griffon mix.” Because there are apparently wirehair pointing griffons running around as strays downtown breeding randomly.

    Honestly, what’s wrong with using All American. In agility, if we don’t know what it is, it’s an All American and that’s it. Why do mixes NEED a breed assignment? Every dog is an individual regardless of what breed it is or is not. Can’t we just admit ignorance and move on to more important things?

  20. Ashleigh January 20, 2014 at 11:50 am #

    You had me at Chinook. I was ( still am but it’s blocked) a member of a few Chinook groups on facebook, as I was considering importing one to Oz. Every second poster was a shelter mutt’s owner asking if their little precious was a Chinook.

    Doubt it. I think there’s around 150 being born a year. They don’t go around humping just anyone

  21. crystalpegasus1 January 20, 2014 at 5:25 pm #

    Thank you for the vet comment! That’s a big peeve of mine when I see people on forums saying – HELP! My dog just got a bottle of windex and drank the whole thing and is now throwing up blood – what should I do?! Every time I see one of those I just want to rip my hair out and scream – take your dog to the damn vet are you out of your f’ing mind?! So yes, thanks 🙂

    • Liz Blue January 20, 2014 at 8:40 pm #

      I thought your #3 (adopted dogs that aren’t) was going to be my pet peeve. I haven’t actually seen or heard anyone do your #3. But what is it with the recent (last couple of years or so) trend of people who really just adopted their dog labeling it as they “rescued” it? If all you did was go to a shelter or rescue group or other organization/individual rescuer and adopted a homeless dog,from them, then you did not rescue that dog. THEY did! (Well, except the municipal shelters. They are into “animal control” not rescue.) If you are the “rescuer”, then what do the real rescuers call themselves? And who’s an adopter anymore? Why did this change in jargon happen?

      • Mickeyfin January 25, 2014 at 11:13 am #

        People want me to feel guilty about my purebred healthy German shepherds, while I enjoy their perfect health, no hip dysphasia, etc. mostly people love my beauties. Heidi is my latest, she is great and costly. She likes kitties, dogs, children, I can take her anywhere and she is a. Good girl.

    • Elise January 27, 2014 at 12:12 am #

      And you say you should go the the vet and they respond that they want to wait and see how they are in a few hours.

  22. Jo January 21, 2014 at 4:12 am #

    Love this post, actually love this whole blog, so glad I found it.
    I especially like the one about adopting, I had a lady tell me her dog that she bought from a pet store, she felt she rescued him because she got him out of such a horrible situation, he had been in the store living in a small cage for over two months and she would go every few days to see if he was still there, she finally bought him. I told her you didn’t rescue you, you freed up another spot for them to put another poor dog in. I don’t think she liked that comment too much

    • susangh January 25, 2014 at 5:41 am #

      Jo, I love that you offend people with the truth. People hate me for it but I won’t stop.
      Is there a gallery where they keep #8 and his fellow shirtless wonders?

  23. iamwarriorrose January 22, 2014 at 7:38 am #

    I don’t think my dog speaks baby talk, but I’m sure as heck going to continue using it when I talk to my dogs! They love it and get all excited. Otherwise I love the list!

  24. Playing with the Big Dogs January 27, 2014 at 12:15 am #

    I want so many more of these, I reread both of these posts when I need a laugh. That and Yahoo answers.

  25. Daniellie February 2, 2014 at 10:03 am #

    MM I gotta disagree with you slightly on number 4. My shelter dog who was found running the streets and was named Carolina, was called by the shelter a Jindo mix. Well that was silly! She looked more like a Carolina Dog then a Jindo. She has less ruff around her neck and she has has more of a Carolina Dog attitude then a Jindo. She has proper color, markings, tail, she has the appropriate eyeliner, eye color, nose and mouth color, feathering, and temperament of a Carolina Dog and she is approximately the correct weight. I live in the US and it’s more likely she is a Carolina Dog then a Jindo event though there seems to be a bit of a recent influx of Jindo in the state I live in.
    While it is rather unlikely I could SWAER I saw a wire haired Portuguese Podengo Pequeno at a shelter I used to work at. I saw a few Min Pins and a couple Rat Terriers. Mostly it was Chi mixes, oodles, shi Tzus and all those other brreds that closely resemble them, and a metric eff ton of molossar aka pibble type dogs.

  26. Jacklyn March 12, 2014 at 5:05 pm #

    You guys are seriously my new favourite blog. Good advice, tons of humor, and now a hot shirtless man for no reason (other than the fact he is hot), you guys are awesome.

  27. Sophie September 3, 2014 at 9:37 pm #

    Using “Devo” in your whippet’s name is the same as ewe in a herding dog’s name. Also, we’ve heard the “whippet good” thing a bazillion times. It really isn’t funny any more.

  28. Adele Donahue December 22, 2014 at 4:15 pm #

    #11 for me is “calling your/a 2 year old dog a “puppy””, especially when it is a 100lb jumping out of control mess.
    #10 is why me dog got kicked out of obedience class. Another attendee thought it was okay to let his dog play with my dog when my dog is not okay with playing with other dogs and my dog got blamed for being “out of control”
    #4, I know a woman who adopted a what she calls “bichon mix”. Everyone swears the dog is purebred bichon. She claims it is highly unlikely a purebred bichon would be at a shelter because they are “expensive dogs”. I told her it doesn’t matter how much dogs cost. There will always be people buying dogs they shouldn’t because they have no idea how to take care for one. In this case I suspect people bought a dog wanting a nice little lap dog and instead got a high energy tiny terror.

  29. Jenny July 16, 2016 at 6:57 am #

    I adopted a PBGV, but then again, maybe I’m one of the lucky ones. He’s not the first I adopted from a shelter and will not be the last. I believe it falls on the owner and the time spent training the dog/s that makes them how you would like them to be. If you can’t do the time and train the dog properly, then find other options. That person may not have the right technique, but with time and patience, all negatives negatives will be overcome.

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