Caveat Emptor, Dumbass a.k.a. If you won’t help yourself I will mock the crap out of you. A rant by Fang.

10 Jun

Potnoodle has some kind of sickness (I suspect smallpox) and Busybee has been a busy bee, and thus you are stuck with a short vent from me, your humble Fang.

If there is one thing I cannot stand, it is a self-righteous idiot. It is one thing to be an idiot. It is another thing to get all up in my grill because you’re pissed off you were a dumb-ass.


Literally everyone else knows.

Literally everyone else knows.


Mistakes happen, I get it. You get excited. That ‘wittle puppy munchkins’ you saw on NextDayPets is just too adorable to resist.. . So you purchase for the exorbitant sum of $400. Six months later with a rampant case of buyer’s remorse, you rail on about how awful everyone is. How dare they breed puppies that have flaws! The horror! The indignity! The… wait a second. Shit! You’re an adult who is responsible for their own purchases? But… but why?


Here is it kids, shitty breeders and rescuers exist. Of course they do. They’ve been preying on the stupid and under-prepared buyer since the dawn of dog breeding. Part of your role as an adult who functions in society (I know, it’s hard) is to be your own damn advocate and learn something along the way. If you refuse to learn how to know better, I can’t help you. In fact, no one can help you. It is probably best if you go wait at the DMV or somewhere where we don’t have to look at you.

Caveat Emptor, kids. It will save you a lot of headaches, and more importantly me a lot of headaches, if you just do the research in the first place.

I do! Oh gosh I do!

7 Responses to “Caveat Emptor, Dumbass a.k.a. If you won’t help yourself I will mock the crap out of you. A rant by Fang.”

  1. Nevaeh June 10, 2014 at 5:36 am #

    Ugh. This is my huge issue. I did several months of research when looking into getting my Labrador puppy for someone who trialled in sport and did confirmation work. Finally found a breeder and was emailing with them, when someone my mom knew had a BYB Chesapeake needed to be rehome because shocker, they couldn’t handle him and wanted to be rid of him. Granted they were getting a divorce but still, neither wanted to deal with the dog and he was tied up outside with some pedigree dog food and no social interaction. He was going to be sold on Kijiji for 150$ and I foresaw him ending up in an equally awful scenario, so my dreams of my perfect little Labrador were dashed and I now have a 14 month old Chessie who bounces of the walls and is a blast to train and really drivey, just I have no background on his parentage, and we have some issues to work through, but in the end I owned up and was the adult and cleaned up somebody else’s mess so the poor dog wouldn’t suffer. Overall I’m glad I did it, god I love this dog, just he shouldn’t have been bred in the first place. We’re awaiting our appointment for hip X-rays since I have a sneaking suspicion he has undetected HD sadly. So much for a new agility and dock diving partner. :/

  2. catherineduke June 10, 2014 at 6:04 am #

    ARGH YES! A family friend recently bought a puppy at the FLEA MARKET because “He looked so sad and pitiful!” Well, it turned out he looked sad and pitpful because he had both distemper and parvo….several thousand dollars later, he’s dead. I just….no, no, no.

  3. Rosemary June 10, 2014 at 7:42 am #

    Guess what? If people educated themselves and stopped buying puppy mill and backyard breeder dogs, People would stop producing them because they wouldn’t be making any money off them. Pet shops put those puppies in nasty-looking cages so the unenlightened pay $$$ to “save” them, thereby rewarding this process.

    • Sally June 10, 2014 at 10:02 pm #

      Oh, my goodness yes! How MANY times have I heard that the puppy someone got from a pet store was so scared/ sick/ sad/ pathetic or whatever, that — wait for it —— ” we consider him a RESCUE”!!

  4. Darcy June 10, 2014 at 10:40 am #

    Save us, please, from “supposed do-good-ers” who pretend that “rescue” means buying from money hungry backyard breeders with pitiful looking pups! If you are not part of the SOLUTION, you are part of the PROBLEM! Please people, get a clue…

  5. bgszap2 June 10, 2014 at 12:03 pm #

    There is simply nothing (almost) worse than a rescue run by an idiot, or several idiots. “Rescues” that are collectors, collectors who are hoarders, dogs kept in conditions as bad as any puppy mill.
    Ignorance and stupidity are just as prevalent in the dog world as anywhere else.

  6. ProudK911 June 17, 2014 at 5:11 am #

    Better yet is the (so-called) “rescue” who supports the “rescue” dogs by breeding designer mutts for sale to the average idiot (aka John & Jane Q Public)… Even some of the rescues end up in the “breeding program”. Fucking really? Ridiculous as my son would say…
    I never thought to be a responsible dog owner and to have intact (OMG they have their parts!) dogs and bitches who don’t have whoops litters and all have extensive (far beyond breed suggested testing) and championships and performance titles would be looked at like the ‘bad guy’ by the average idiot either…. To have an intact dog who has been bred even who is normal and sociable (for his breed) and NEVER would think of marking indoors anywhere… Not even on the favorite corner where all the other untrained dogs with irresponsible owners who let them piss the wall at my work place! And they act like its normal?!? If only I could make my boy eliminate while wearing his SD vest and we go visit their workplace… Now that would make me happy! But really, when did even simple things such as HOUSEBREAKING YOUR FUCKING DOG go out of style? At one point I had 3 intact dogs and 4 intact bitches- all HOUSEPETS. The only time it smelled of elimination would be when the poor misguided things would raid the kitty crunchies before I could pick the cat box! And gee, no surprise litters being born either here. How hard is it to crate in separate rooms behind closed doors or have your dog stay with a friend if you can’t confine them at home? I guess it must be me since I think things like this are normal, while the next door neighbor has had 3 whoops litters with 2 bitches since last fall… Maybe um they shouldn’t own a stud dog that this is at least their 4th whoops that I know of since they got him… But that’s a tangent in itself…
    Common sense is a super power now
    And RDOs and show people will never have a powerful enough unified front to stand up to the AR nuts. One would think maybe the AKC should do that job but they sold out to the puppy millers and perpetuate our problem too in the eyes of the GP. Until the average idiot figures it out that AKC papers are basically proof of ownership and the quality of the dog comes not because it has papers, but that it was carefully and responsibly bred to be a purposeful dog. Without breeding for function while breeding for form, your breed’s temperament WILL revert to “generic dog”, not the functional purpose for which your breed was created. The loss of this practice is a problem even amongst show breeders… And part of why the public perception is so poor about show bred dogs these days too…
    I guess I’m just a freak on a leash these days!

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