Dog Breeds V: The Good, The Bad and the Ugly e.g. Shorty Get Down

23 Mar

Time for more breed profiles, we know, we’re overdue. Tough Titties. This time we’re tackling the breeds whereupon it’s easy to believe there is in fact  a connection between pleasantness and length of leg. That’s right kids, it’s time for the Achondroplastic (There’s a Scrabble word for you) breeds per our selection. Brace yourselves for a lot of short jokes.

Pemmies, Cardis and for funsies their peasant cousin, the Vallhund (Sort of)

Okay, so technically a Vallhund isn’t a Corgi but it has the same shape and can also be a big dirty asshole, so we’re lumping it in, so ha.

The Good:

-Want a sport dog? Drive a compact car? We’ve got the dog(s) for you. There’s a reason you see a ton of corgis at dog sports. They’re good at it, despite the length of their legs. They are generally good with kids and make great junior dogs, in conformation or performance.

-These are dogs bred to take a kicking and keep on ticking (literally). Both breeds of Corgi are dogs that can run with you or go for a long hike and come right back in and snuggle down in your apartment. They’re hardy and fairly healthy. Certainly not frail dogs.


-Owning a Vallhund means that you can own a rare breed without people thinking you are a snob.  The flip side of this is that you will spend a great deal of time convincing people your dog isn’t some sort of Corgi mix.

The Bad:

Before we dive in to the bad, we’ve gotta split these guys up. First off, the Cardigan is the one with the tail, the Pembroke is the one with the queen and the Vallhund is the one with the vikings.

-The Pembroke is spitzier (Cardigans have rounder ears and softer personalities), and everything that comes with that. They can be sharp and reactivity is not uncommon.

Similar to the Kraken, but longer.


-Corgis love to get fat. Real fat. They’re easy keepers and usually very food driven, always a dangerous combination. Combine that with their short legs and long back and you’ve got a recipe for the bad back mentioned below.

The Ugly:

-Like every other breed on this list, Corgis are prone to back problem because of their length of back. That’s an expensive surgery, lots of rehab and a long time to keep a normally active dog fairly still and calm.

-The hair. So. Much HAIR. These dogs walk into a room, puffs out their cheeks and Poof! Blows hair on every surface. Honestly, it’s almost magical if you don’t have to be the one vacuuming it all up.  Get used to find  wafting balls of hair in corners and under furniture.   And on your clothes.  And in your food.  And in other places we dare not mention.


The Good:

-These tiny creatures are a bundle of fun (albeit not always in the way you would want them to be).  Full of spirit and energy, prepare to be kept on your toes by owning one.  They are attention-loving clowns who will steal the show whenever they can.  If you are someone who can find the joy in your dog stealing baby Jesus from a Christmas display (seriously, BusyBee has a friend whose dog did this), then you might be well-suited for this breed.


Loyal to the core, Dachshunds bond strongly with their owners and are almost underfoot (literally).  Dachshund owners will tell you that they are sweet, affectionate, and cuddly with those that they deem acceptable, but may not be so with strangers.

Blanket Burrower: Expert


The Bad:

Ever heard of Doxie World Domination? Well, it’s a real thing.  Many Dachshund owners can attest that these dogs are cute, they know it, and they aren’t afraid to use it to manipulate you.


-Barking is actually bred into this breed. They were bred to hunt small game and bark to alert his human. If you want silence in your home, don’t get a Dachshund.

-They’re like pringles, you can’t have just one.  Seriously, most Dachshund owners start with one and then slowly (or not so slowly) start adding to the herd.   While this may not seem like a bad thing, imagine some of the less desirable traits in multiples.  You might want to invest in some ear plugs.


The Ugly:

It should be no surprise that these feisty little creatures are prone to back injuries.  Add in a propensity to be overweight and a love of dive-bombing off of furniture or anything else they can climb up on, you have a recipe for disaster.


-If you are looking for a highly biddable dog, you should look elsewhere.  Dachshunds tend to have a mind of their own. They believe they are in charge at all times. They like to decide where they are going, when they are going there and what they’ll do when they arrive.  That isn’t to say they can’t be trained, but it will take a lot of patience and a sense of humor.


Basset Hounds

The Good:

Just seeing one toddling along is enough to make anyone smile.  They tend to approach life with a certain joie de vivre that can be contagious.



-If you’re looking for a dog that just wants to hangout, take casual walks, and chill out on the couch you don’t need to look much further. Most Bassets are pretty Bro-ish dogs. They’re cool to go on a weekend warrior hike, or hang out and drink some beers., Whatever dude.


The Bad:

– Although they are short haired, Basset Hounds shed more than you might expect, and tend to drool after they eat or drink. A Basset Hound may not be a good choice for someone who likes a very tidy house or doesn’t like slobber hanging from their lamps…and their furniture…and their ceilings. 

If you live in a city, or have neighbors who are looking for any reason to hate you, the vocalizations of a Basset will not win you any friends.  They’re a breed of dog made to make noise, and they’re very good at that. People that love them tend to love the baying but not so much their upstairs neighbor.

The Ugly:

-Bassets just aren’t healthy dogs. Yes, yes, we know you have an uncle with a pack of hunting Bassets that are healthy as horses. We’re not talking about those. They’re prone to numerous genetic issues, allergies, and of course the back issues of all the other breeds on this list. Their ears alone are a nightmare, thanks to their general droopiness. They are also another breed that tends towards fat.

-The basset is a breed pretty heavily impacted by BYBs, because of their cuteness. As always, one should be careful where one gets their Basset.

Probably not to standard


-Hound Stank is also a very real thing.


11 Responses to “Dog Breeds V: The Good, The Bad and the Ugly e.g. Shorty Get Down”

  1. Diane March 23, 2015 at 10:58 pm #

    I owned a basset (mumble mumble) decades ago so I can’t really speak to the achondroplastic issue, but when the phrase ‘hound stank’ is used, there should be a big fat asterisk and at the other end of the asterisk should be a notation ‘does not refer to sighthounds.’

  2. bgszap2 March 23, 2015 at 11:11 pm #

    You forgot a couple of things about Bassets.
    One Basset takes up 3 couch cushions or 3/4ths of a Queen sized bed and forget about shoving him over.
    Bassets can silently remove any food item from any counter and eat it while you are standing right there with your back turned. This includes Thanksgiving turkeys, steaks, chickens, loaves of bread, butter, many vegetables, paper napkins, alcoholic drinks and dessert.
    Flat Basset: when a Basset lays down flat on his side in the middle of a 4-way intersection at rush hour and WILL NOT MOVE.
    Speed Bump Basset: When a Basset steps in front of you when you are walking quickly, and the dog stops and you don’t.
    Ambulance: the vehicle that transports you and your broken arm after hitting a Basset Speed Bump.

    And yes, they can fling drool a good ten feet.

    • flylillilena March 24, 2015 at 12:11 am #

      Now I want to add a Basset to our pack. 🙂

  3. Jan March 24, 2015 at 12:31 pm #

    From someone with many years of living with both Corgi breeds: A major “bad” you didn’t mention – excessive barking! You mentioned reactivity with Pembrokes – actually Cardigans tend toward dog reactivity more than Pems. Pems are usually more outgoing, friendly meeting people and other dogs. Cardis are generally more reserved and tend towards being one-person or one-family dogs. Pems are usually more tolerant of children and for the less dog-savvy owner, an easier breed than Cardis.

    • Ellimac July 28, 2015 at 1:43 am #

      That’s weird! I have cardigans and I’ve heard that about Pems! Yeah, no kidding! What I’ve been told is that when temperament goes bad in pembrokes, you see aggression. When temperament goes bad in cardigans, you see shyness. Not that either is better, it’s just what a person is better suited for.

      Both corgis like to rule the roost. Both bark. Both shed.

      Pemmies are more prone to DM, because there are more pemmies then cardigans who have it. Both have IVDD. Cardigans are taller, longer, and have a totally different front. Cardigans are typically supposed to be larger, although I have seen some GIANT pembrokes being shown, lately. I saw a bitch special who was the size of a male cardigan special.

      Cardigans are handsome like German Shepherds. Pembrokes are spitzy, like Pomeranians.

      My herding instructor says 1 in 20 pembrokes can herd, but most cardigans have *some* ability. Not that anyone cares about that, really, but crazy dog people like me. And this is not to say that pemmies can’t herd, because there will be a ton of people who will tell you otherwise.

      I don’t know about Pems and kids. Again, I’ve heard the opposite. Maybe it depends on how a dog is socialized and raised? I’ve had no less then five cardigans in and out of my house, all but two belonged to someone else, and I’ve never had an issue with kids. Even with the cardigans who were never previously around them. Also, I’m not one of those parents who lets their kid tug ears or tails or “ride the dog” or anything like that, and I make sure all dogs get space until we get to know them.

      Let’s see, what else? Tails, you say? Well, in Europe, pems get to keep their tails and surprisingly, the bob tailed gene shows up in certain pem lines, but not ALL pem lines. So, the best way to tell cardigans and pems apart if you are a novice is by their heads and by color.

      Cardigans have so many lovely colors- We have red and sable and tricolor, much as pems do, but we ALSO have merle and brindle. Brindle is the most common color of Cardigans, with sable being the least common color.

      Cardigans are the older breed. The theory is that Valhunds mixed with Cardigans and then the Pembroke was born. But, who knows? No one has been around that long to say for sure!

      Anyway, just wanted to chime in and giving some perspective as an actual cardigan owner! Oh, and there’s not one picture of a cardigan on the blog. Yep! All pembrokes. In fact, cardigans were really only mentioned vaguely in passing. So, if you want to know what a cardigan looks like, or acts like or our breed history, go to

  4. AD March 24, 2015 at 3:14 pm #

    Vallhund, hmm had to look that one up. Yes if I saw one on the street I would think it’s a wolf/corgi mix. But question for any of you dog snobs. Looking on yahoo images (not reliable but easy) some have tails and some do not. So I’m guessing some are docked and some are not. Why? It seems like the ones with natural tails are not even that long and curl up so I can’t see the excuse that they get in the way like everyone who likes to chop off dogs tails like to claim. And do pembrokes naturally do not have tails?

    • Leaena March 25, 2015 at 8:45 am #

      The Vallhund has a natural bob tail, some dogs get the full tail, some are born with the bob tail about 2 1/2 inches long and some have no tail.

    • Megan March 26, 2015 at 1:14 am #

      Actually the Vallhund can be born with a full, Spitz tail; Bob tail; or nub–they’re all natural (and keep their dew claws). That’s my SV (and meme) in the Vallhund meme! 🙂

    • Megan March 26, 2015 at 1:17 am #

      Actually Vallhunds are all natural and can be born with a full Spitz tail, bob/stump, or a nub–they never dock. (They even keep their dew claws.) That’s my Swedish Vallhund (and my generated meme) featured here! 🙂

  5. Taryn March 24, 2015 at 3:35 pm #

    Fun post! I was going to say the same as Jan, corgis can be quite the barkers. It is an issue that needs early and often training! Also, although good with kids they do have a strong tendency to herd running/screaming youngsters. Another item for the training. It is also an issue that has cost many a corgi its home.

    Since no Cardigan photos were used, look here for lots of pictures of mine 😉

  6. Julie July 5, 2015 at 5:29 pm #

    Ok these profiles have me in tears from laughing and they are so informative! Please pretty please continue to do them. I would love to read an akita breed profile

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: