Tag Archives: dog product

Sex Toy or Dog Toy?: You Be The Judge

10 Mar

Ready for another rousing (arousing? We sure hope not…)  round of “which is the dog toy?”

Option A

Option B

If you guessed option A as the dog toy, you are correct!  If you guessed Option B, well…we’re sorry. Option A is Kong’s Safestix and option B is a set of anal beads, dug up by BusyBee from the bowels of google image search. Don’t worry, she immediately cleared her browsing history. Kong claims that the Safestix are “bendable and flexible”, a quality that seems to be useful in both the dog and sex toy worlds. When the Safestix first debuted, a mutual friend of all three Dog Snobs had gotten one for her dogs and posted photos on Facebook. Upon seeing the photos, we all turned to each other (virtually, of course) with concern. Can you blame us?! When we realized that the toy was indeed a dog toy and not something the dogs had found in our friend’s bedroom, the amusement set in. Until recently, none of us had bought the toy even though we are all big fans of the Kong Company. However, last week on a whim, Potnoodle picked up one. I is her dog that enjoys fetch and he seemed to enjoy the toy. Fetch was played, damning photos were taken, and great fun was had by all… until she threw it up on her roof. Now she has what looks to the rest of the world to be a particularly large set of anal beads on her roof for the foreseeable future… or at least until the gutter cleaner comes to clean the gutters out and is able to reach it.

Sex Toy or Dog toy? You Be The Judge First Edition

3 Mar

Surely we aren’t the only ones who routinely blush when perusing the aisles at the local pet supply store.  Some of the things we have seen are just plain questionable.  So,  it got us thinking, could anyone tell the difference between a sex toy and a dog toy?   The goal of this regular column is to test your skills.  Trust us, it’s not as easy as you might think.

Now, for our inaugural  post…..

Which is the sex toy and which is the dog toy?

from intimate-avenues.net

Option A

West Paw Design's Bumi

Option B

If you guessed option B as the pet toy, you are correct. From the z-shaped design to the alluring blue color, these items are disturbingly similar. If you own this particular toy, you are fully within your right to be skeeved out. West Paw Design, the maker of the Bumi dog toy, says the toy is “guaranteed to go the distance” and has an “ innovative “S” shape that flexes out to twice its length.” With a description like that, is it any wonder we got confused?

We should say, that despite its questionable appearance, both I and Mr. T love their Bumi toys.  Despite Mr. T’s ability to destroy most any toy tossed his way, his Bumi is still in one piece and ready for more tugging and fetching.We guess it really can go the distance!

10 Alternative Uses for Retractable Leashes

2 Mar

Flexi-Leash Haiku

By BusyBee

 Oh how I loathe you

Small invisible wire

Flexi-leash  of doom

Here at the Dog Snobs, few things annoy us more than retractable leashes, or flexi-leads.   Seriously, those corded death-traps and the people holding them send all of us into a blind rage.  However, given the sheer amount of them we see, we realize it’s not realistic to completely get rid of them.  So, instead of burning them all with fire, we’ve come up with 10 alternative (read: better) uses for retractable leashes.

1) Jump rope.
Extend to the maximum length, lock, and have at it.  This could possibly the next big fitness trend.

2)  Trip wire for home security.

Given how effective these are at tripping people (BusyBee knows from personal experience), it makes perfect sense to put them to good use to keep home invaders out.  Simply extend the leash and pull taut in front of your door.  No burglar will be able to bypass the flexi-leash of doom, trust us.

3) Paperweight.

Flexi-leashes seem to come in all sizes and colors, so with the leash fully retracted, it will make an excellent decorative paperweight for any desk.

If you want a tacky paperweight, that is.

4)  Torture device

Have you ever gotten a rope burn from a fast-moving flexi-lead?  Yeah. That shit hurts.   A  lot.  People have had fingers chopped off due to getting tangled in a flexi-leash.  Seriously.

5) Dog-proof fridge lock

BusyBee’s Mr. T is what we like to call, “mechanically gifted”, and has learned, on his own, how to open the household refrigerator.  Even the installment of a child-lock only kept him out for 24 hours.   Perhaps tying a flexi-lead around the fridge, looping through the handles, and then using the convenient locking function will keep him out….

Lock it up.

6) Garotte

Nothing says “The Dog did it” like a murder weapon that hides its own evidence in a spring-loaded carrying case. You probably don’t want to reuse that lead though…

7) Bludgeoning

While we can’t understand why anyone would choose to carry around such a large hulking handle, we can see the potential use as a weapon.  Who needs mace when you can beat someone over the head with a flexi-leash handle?

Totally a weapon.

8) An Introduction Aide

Little gets you as up close and personal with someone as when your unruly labrador wraps their flexi-lead around the ankles of an unsuspecting date candidate. From a distance you can gauge fitness and dexterity without ever having to speak to the person. If you’re not interested, release the handle and allow it to snap back with amazing force on the stranger’s knee to punish them for wasting your time. If you’re interested, call your dog while throwing their favorite toy over your shoulder. Your next date should be arriving in less than 10 seconds, likely slightly disheveled, and maybe a little mad, but really they should be flattered.

9) Toddler Control

We at Dog Snobs will judge you horribly for using a flexi to control your dog, but it seems the perfect tool to corral your sticky spawn. The length of the line allows you to give your child room to be independent while still allowing you the power to yank them back if they take off into oncoming traffic. Press lock and hang it on something high and you have a handy tether system for the tyke. Get a friend to come over and have toddler races, first child snapped back at the end of the twenty foot line wins. Toddler Yo-Yo, corralling unruly children like a bundling rope, extreme red rover. The possibilities are endless when you unhook the leash from your dog’s collar and onto your toddler’s… well…. whatever you can find to hook it on.

What better way to control them without touching their grubby little hands?

10) We honestly couldn’t come up for a tenth reason for using these harbingers of doom (other than hanging the dog owners who use them).Get a real leash.

Have your own alternative use? Let us know in comments!